


Sinking the Stars

by solikerez



Series: Sinking the Stars [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fairy Tale Retellings, Reylo - Freeform, Selkies, also will totally kick your ass if you cross her, i'm looking at you kylo, in which rey and the gang attempt to take down space voldemort aka snoke, rey loves the ocean, sweet sea child, the infamous selkie fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-07-11 16:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7060741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solikerez/pseuds/solikerez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fate arrives as a selkie pelt washed up at Rey's feet, and with it, the opportunity to turn the tide of the war as they know it.</p>
<p>A take on the tale of The Selkie Maiden and the Fisherman for Keeping the Stars Apart- A Reylo Fanfiction Anthology 2016.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>And if the stars were little ships floating aimlessly throughout the sky, he'd sink them all for her in a heartbeat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to all of my mods for the anthology, you all were absolutely wonderful and very helpful. This probably wouldn't have gotten done without all of the support given so generously for this project.
> 
> nodus tollens: n. the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand, that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre—which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.

She lets the frigid waves crash over her skin and she drinks it all in: the savory taste of seawater on her lips, the gentle way it rises and falls to caress her; the warm light of a sun setting far past the horizon; the roughness of the clumpy, damp sand beneath her feet as she curls her toes;  everything . It's new to Rey, but somehow the sensations are all too familiar to her. She's dreamt of and wished for the sea her entire life.

But she can't stay like this for long. There's training to do, as always. If she's not meditating, she's doing strength training. If she's not doing that, then she’s sparring with Luke. And if that's not the case, then surely she is eating, sleeping or sitting down by the sea. It is not a bad life, in and of itself, and she knows Luke is trying his best to teach her well. And yet, she can't help but want for more meaning in her life.

Life is at a standstill, an awkward transition between her awakening in the Force and the manifestation of her destiny, whatever that may be. She freed herself from the dreadful repetition of her life on Jakku, only to exchange it for a new, slightly improved version of that life. Still, she had to learn how to survive, and even now she has no real companionship.

Luke is less than conversational, and she hasn't received any contact from the Resistance since Chewie took the Falcon and left her here on Ahch-To. Artoo stayed behind, but there's still no word from General Organa about anything. She has no idea if Finn has recovered, or if the First Order is growing stronger, or even what she is supposed to do once her training is finished. 

She waits, because that's all she's ever known how to do. 

A small wave crashes around her ankles and Rey feels something slick brush her feet, making her jump back. The wave recedes and she takes a hesitant step forward to get a closer look at the thing. It's smooth and slick, like the pelt of some poor sea creature that met its inevitable fate. She goes to brush it aside, and a pang of fear and curiosity comes over her as the pelt begins pulsing with a strange energy that seems to draw her in. 

Steeling herself, Rey reaches for the pelt and it warms in her hands, the dull glow of its energy engulfing her Force signature. Suddenly her ears are ringing, sweat gathering in beads on her brow as she feels herself being flung into another reality. 

She finds herself in the middle of a lush green field, and in the distance, there is a sparse collection of cozy little dwellings. Her feet carry her forward without her command, weaving throughout the little village until she comes to a stop in front of a hut with soft murmurs floating from inside. The door is ajar and she steps in, finding a small group of humans huddled into a corner, staring in awe at something special. 

She steps closer and feels weak in the knees when she sees a child, barely a week old, wrapped up and clutching a handmade doll. Her breath hitches in her throat when she recognizes it as the doll she kept with her in her fallen AT-AT on Jakku. It is not a vision of the future; it is her own forgotten memory.

"She's called Rey," a woman says breathily, breaking the silence with a loving glance towards the child- or rather, Rey herself. Rey takes a moment to drink it all in, the woman with the gentle creases near her eyes and soft brown hair pulled back into a long braid, the man with the messy dark hair and hardened eyes that softened when looking down at his child, the low, humming whir of a power generator somewhere outside. All of it is perfect. All of it is home.

She hears dragging steps and turns to see a man limping into the room, aged with eyes that were unsettlingly knowing. He walks over, greeting the two young parents as baby Rey coos and fusses. A warm smile creeps onto his face as he pulls something out of his pack-- the pelt from the shore.

"I've been waiting to give you this, since the child was born," says the wizened man, insistently placing the pelt into their hands. The woman visibly recoils from it and tries to return it to him.

"What is it?" the younger man asks, taking it from his wife and inspecting it in his hands.

"The pelt of a creature called the selkie, strong in the Force. It used to roam the waters of a distant planet called Ahch-To, singing an enchanting melody, and when it removed its pelt, it transformed into a human. Legend has it that some selkies abandoned their kind to follow the way of the Jedi, but the selkies disappeared ages ago. No one has seen one in a very long while." Baby Rey wails at that, and her parents let out tired sighs as they turn to console their child. 

"It is also said that the pelt of a selkie has a soothing effect that might help with the child," he adds pointedly, as he watches the two struggle.

"We'll take it then, thank you," says the mother hurriedly, grabbing the pelt and draping it over the child. Young Rey's sobs sputter to a close and the young parents nearly cry with relief. The old man is nearly out of the door when the mother calls out for him.

"Wait," she exclaims, grasping his arm and pulling him back. "What is your name?"

"You can call me Saal-Tik." In a whir of blending color and sound, Rey feels herself being ripped away from the memory, and suddenly she's back in the same house, but it's empty.

In the corner there is rustling, and Rey whips around to find a small child with her hair pulled sloppily into three little buns, her four year-old self. With a quick glance over her shoulder, young Rey scrambles over to a shelf, the selkie pelt just barely out of reach. Face scrunched in determination, she reaches out farther until the pelt slides just enough to meet her fingertips. 

The child jolts in surprise, but soon clutches the pelt in her hands. With a short tinkling laugh, she wraps the pelt around herself and she's dancing around, light and joyfully on her feet. She twirls, spins, and leaps, and for a moment Rey feels herself getting caught up in the purity of her young, jovial self grinning with every tooth showing. 

A jar shatters suddenly on the highest shelf and she cries out as shards of glass rain down on the child. The light bursts into a shower of sparks above her and suddenly young Rey is left in the dark, until the door slides open and her mother comes rushing in, lines around her eyes crinkling in concern. She's all hands and soothing words, rocking her child back and forth as muffled sobs come from the face buried into her shoulders.

"Shhh, hush, Rey, you're safe. You're safe with me." The woman glances up as her husband rushes wordlessly into the room, eyes darkening as he takes in his inconsolable child with the pelt covering her narrow, trembling shoulders. He tears it away from her, clenching it in his fingers, white knuckles looking half ready to tear it apart.

"This is the fourth time," he sighs as he drops down beside them, taking the two into his arms. Drawing a shaky breath, he asked softly, "Is she- do you think she could be Force sensitive?" 

"That man, Saal-Tik, he said some selkies became Jedi. Maybe she's like them, maybe she's strong in the Force."

The woman breathes a shaky breath, barely nodding. "Maybe. All I know is that she can't stay here. The First Order is always watching for children like her, and there are so many sympathizers here, she's not safe. And she's certainly not safe around that pelt." 

Little Rey protests as her father gently pulls the pelt from her iron grip. There's a wrenching in her gut and Rey finds herself thrown from the scene, landing on her knees back on Ahch-To. She saw them. She saw her parents’ faces for what felt like the first time, and the thought is nearly too much to handle.

Her mind is raw and battered and she feels the impulse to sob and lash out all at once. It's all too much to take in, and once again her mind begins to throb with the storm of emotions she's feeling, until a gentle presence washes over her like a wave. Rey is taken aback completely, with the ghosts of arms tightly wrapped around her and soothing words being whispered close to her ear. Her labored breaths slow, and as soon she feels grounded again, she tries to reach out in her mind to the presence. It disappears as quickly as it comes, like a wave crashing onto the sand.

Rey tries to shake the feeling that she was being watched, and goes to pick up the pelt. Its energy has shifted, and a sense of calmness covers her like a blanket, cloaking her mind from the fear and longing that the vision struck her with. Wrapping the pelt around her shoulders, she begins to gather her bearings.

With her pike strapped behind her, Rey makes the hike back up to where she knows she can find Luke. Of course, he is right where she expects, perched atop a precariously stacked rock overlooking the sea. She feels his steady presence in the Force reach out to her, and she knows he sees her without having to even glance her way.

"Let me have a look," he says, nodding toward the pelt wrapped around her shoulders. She's hesitant to hand over something that seems so important, but she trusts Luke.

"Where did you find this?" he asks, observing every detail of the pelt thoughtfully. There's a spark of poorly hidden curiosity behind his eyes, almost childlike. 

"It was down by the shore. I touched it and... I saw something. It was like a vision of the past. I- I think I saw my parents."

"Do you know what a Force artifact is, Rey?" She shakes her head. "With a Force artifact, your power in the Force is amplified in ways that can rarely be accomplished without one. I've been searching for something like this for a very long time, Rey. There is great power in things like this. Anyone who is Force sensitive can use it to their advantage, but this particular one seems to have latched on to you."

"Oh," is all she can say on the subject. She's only just started to manipulate the Force to do her will, and she hardly knows what to do with such an important artifact. But Luke hands her the pelt and looks at her as if he expects her to do great things, and after living most of her life without anyone looking at her as if she was worth anything, Rey is desperate to prove herself.

So for the next week, she's back to training harder than she ever has before. She throws herself wholeheartedly into sparring with Luke, who can barely keep up with her endless spring of energy. With the pelt on her back she has an extra push behind her that centers herself in the Force, allowing Rey to anticipate her master's next moves farther in advance. He shifts his weight to the left, aiming a strike toward her uncovered ribs. Her mind is buzzing and she notices his attack a moment before it happens, just in time to tuck and roll away from him.

Luke seems pleased with her progress, and they make small talk over a meal of tasteless gleb rations they scavenged from the Falcon weeks before. What they have is not much, but Rey has never known good food, and she isn't the type to waste what is freely given to her. 

Rey is halfway done stuffing her face with all the food she can manage when she hears a mechanical whirr and turns to see R2-D2 blinking back to life. The droid is frantic with its rushed beeping, and Rey gets up to press the button to turn on the holo projector. 

Luke catches her hand before she can get to do anything. "I've got this, Rey, you go on up a meditate and I'll join you later." She felt a rush of anger at his unwillingness to let her listen to the transmission, but she pushed those feelings down inside her, slowly expelling them with a long breath. 

Rey feels as if she's been waiting for Master Luke for hours, and she tries swatting away all distracting thoughts of Artoo's message, to no avail. She's on edge, and feels a sense of foreboding roll over her like a heavy storm cloud. Giving up on meditation, Rey gets up and makes the trek back down the cliffside, where she finds Luke back on his favorite ledge, which overlooks the vast expanse of the sea.

He climbs down and as he comes closer she can see the lines of distress framing his eyes, fresh and disconcerting. 

"We have a mission to undertake."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dead reckoning: n. to find yourself bothered by someone’s death more than you would have expected, as if you assumed they would always be part of the landscape, like a lighthouse you could pass by for years until the night it suddenly goes dark, leaving you with one less landmark to navigate by—still able to find your bearings, but feeling all that much more adrift.

It's a risky plan, and Luke knows it. At a glance, it seems so simple: run an airstrike on the First Order's primary training facility on Arkanis, and then send in teams of ground troops to flush out as many Stormtroopers as possible. But there are so many things that could go wrong, so many variables beyond their control, and it drives Luke's weary mind into a panicked frenzy. Still, Luke understands why Leia asked for his help yet again, after all this time. Arkanis' facility is home to thousands upon thousands of training Stormtroopers and upcoming officers, and it's certainly foolish to barge into such a place without some sort of advantage. Having a seasoned Jedi and his powerful Padawan on their side increases their chances tenfold.

Luke is quick to hide his doubt underneath the hardened shell he presents to the world. It is something Luke has grown quite good at, hiding from his past. The guilt of his shortcomings as his nephew's teacher threatens to eat away at him, but Luke is elusive prey. Still, there's a buckle in his knees whenever he thinks of his sister, broken and alone and left behind, but still standing strong. Even when Ben turned, and Luke left, and Han followed. And now, with Han gone it seems like maybe she's alone in the world, but to Leia, losing people she loves is all too familiar; it's home.

Luke had felt it. He felt the waver in the Force when the light slipped from Han's eyes. He felt his eyes close as somewhere, star systems away, Leia's eyes were kept wide open, as if she couldn't stop herself from watching, from feeling. It was as if all the air had been sucked from his lungs, and he knew that Leia was out there suffering alone. They'd both been alone for far too long.

So when he received the call from Leia begging for his help, Luke didn’t have the heart to refuse, despite his doubts. Instead, he says goodbye to Ahch-To, this monument to his solitude, taking a few moments to drink it all in once more. But the time for sentiment is quickly ending, so he packs up his meager belongings while Rey does the same.

When the Falcon arrives, Luke feels a knot catch in his throat, which suddenly feels as dry as the blistering sand on Tatooine. It's too familiar, that ship. The hatch opens and Luke feels himself almost collapse at the sight of Chewbacca, still the same after all these years. But there's an emptiness to Chewie's eyes that Luke never thought he'd see.

To Luke, there is no Chewbacca without Han. There is no Millennium Falcon without Han. They'd been through so much together, and although Luke knows it can never happen again, he half expects to see Han stride out of the cockpit with the crooked, smug, bastard grin he always wore on his face like a badge of honor. But there is no more Han, no more bad vests or crazy schemes or dressing up as Stormtroopers or hiding in Tauntauns. There are no more blatantly rigged games of dejarik on long trips in the Falcon, or sarcastic remarks to hide genuine affection, or hours spent red in the face because, _kriffing hell_ , Han could be infuriating sometimes, but he was Luke's friend, and he truly cared.

But there is no point in dwelling on what happened, so Luke swallows the raw emotion that forms in his throat and lets the Force roll over him in waves. He takes a step forward, and that is all the encouragement Chewie needs to pull him into a bone-crushing embrace. They stay that way for what is probably far too long, clinging to each other like the memories of the past they're too afraid to forget.

"Chewie, I'm sorry," Luke says at last, and he pulls away as Chewie moans mournfully in response. When they finally get onto the ship, Rey is already in the cockpit making preparations. She glances in their direction with a knowing look spread across her face.

"I didn't want to interrupt you two, so I went ahead and set our destination for D'Qar." Wordlessly, the two sink into their seats, and with a lurch, they're off the ground and making their way home to the Resistance.

 

* * *

 

It's a miracle in and of itself that Rey doesn't hurt herself or anyone else in the mad dash she makes to the med bay immediately after touching down on D'Qar. Perhaps it's rude to leave Luke behind to face his sister for the first time in years alone, but she's got one person and one person only on her mind: _Finn_. But he's not there when she bursts into the room where she saw him last, trailed by an entourage of doctors and specialists grumbling about her lack of clearance.

Instinctively, her mind leaps to the worst possible outcomes, and she finds herself in a blind panic as she rushes through the med bay in search of her friend. She's on the verge of laughing and sobbing when she finally finds him near the X-Wings, a cup of steaming caf wrapped up in his hands and grease smeared in streaks across his uniform as he chats to one of the pilots. She nearly knocks his cup entirely out of his grasp with the force of the hug she gives him.

"Rey? Rey!" Finn exclaims, taken aback at first, before throwing his arms around her in return, nearly squeezing all the breath out of her as he lifts her up and spins her around. He holds Rey at arm’s length in order to get a good look at her.

"You're back," he says, and he's all smiles as he slings his arm over Rey's shoulder.

She nods while leaning into him, careful not to nudge any healing wounds. "And you're healthy.”

"That I am, back and better than ever. I even have a cool battle scar to boast to Poe about," he says, shoving his thumb back toward the pilot with the tousled hair and the warm smile.

"I don't think that's much to brag about buddy, you're cool enough as it is, you don't need any scars to prove it." Rey meets the man's extended hand with a firm shake. "I don't think we've met. I'm Poe Dameron."

"Rey," she said, immediately relaxing in the easygoing presence of the man in front of her. Trust isn't something that comes easily to Rey, but there's something about this smiling pilot that just puts her at ease, and she finds herself grinning right back at him.

"Pleasure to meet you, Rey, I've heard a lot about you. By the sound of it, the Resistance sure owes a lot to your courage."

"Thank you." There's a flash of movement and out of the corner of her eye she catches the spinning astromech she's come to love.

"Beebee-Ate!" The little droid trills happily as Rey bends down to it. They'd been through a lot together, she and BB-8. "What have you been up to? I see your antenna's been fixe--" Her voice is drowned out by the screeching of a siren overhead, and she snaps to attention.

"That's our signal," Poe says, zipping up his flight suit and climbing up to the cockpit of his X-Wing to grab his helmet. "I hate to cut this short, but I have a briefing with General Organa and Admiral Statura before we have to get off the ground. I'll catch up with you two sometime later, maybe tomorrow, yeah?"

"Sure thing, Poe," Finn says, and with a quick slap to the shoulders, Poe is jogging away from the docking bay and into the command center, with BB-8 trailing behind him. "We'd better get going, we're assigned as ground troops, and we've got to get to the transport quickly, so we're accounted for."

Rey rests a hand on his arm to keep him from dashing off too. "Are you sure you're up to this, Finn? I thought you said you were done with fighting." He looks her in the eye, and there's a steely determination which she'd only seen once before: in the snow on Starkiller.

"This is something worth fighting for, Rey. Now, let's get going, before they leave us behind."

 

* * *

 

Blood is the first thing Kylo Ren sees when he emerges from his meditation, and he knows by the warm stickiness of his garb that it's his own. He winces through the sharp pain as he pushes himself up to check the dressing on his wound. It's a new cut, a deep gorge in his shoulder, from late night training with his Knights. It was against the Supreme Leader's orders to heal himself, so instead, Kylo grits his teeth and cleans the wound, smoothing a fresh bacta patch over it. He wears his scars as reminders of his failures and shortcomings. A tribute to his shame.

He brushes his fingers over the jagged flesh which runs from his brow down to his collarbone, feeling the place where the scavenger girl had marked him. _Rey_ , he thinks, Rey is what the traitor had called her as he had thrown her harshly into a tree. How stupidly fitting, that the girl from the dusty, washed up, sun-bleached planet of Jakku should be called Rey. He finds himself almost laughing at the thought. Had she named herself, all alone, raised by only the relentless sun and the ruins of the fallen Empire?

He should feel disgusted by the thought of her, Kylo knows. He should want to seek her out and end this pointless war, and yet he can't stop thinking about the loneliness he once saw in her, that raw and untouched anger she kept bundled up inside of her until it finally came out, uninhibited and directed straight toward him. And he can't help but feel like he's uncovered a monster and a fighter and someone with so much potential for greatness. But she'll never find it with Luke Skywalker or FN-2187 or the Resistance, and he knows that full well.

He wonders how long it will take her to realize, as he once did, that the light is not as perfect as they'd have her think.

There's a quick series of beeps from his comlink, and he turns the device over in his hands. It's from Hux, and Kylo resists the urge to throw the comlink out of the airlock without a second thought. He's to prepare his Knights for combat and report to his shuttle immediately following (without breaking anything along the way, the message says, but Kylo finds that bit entirely unnecessary). He doesn't respond.

Instead, he pulls his helmet roughly onto his head. It closes with a slow hiss, and he makes his way to the Knights of Ren, making sure to leave a wrecked comlink behind as a gift for the General.

 

* * *

 

The lightsaber in her hand feels strange and weighty as Rey bounces on her toes, waiting for the transport to make the descent into Arkanis' atmosphere. She's more jittery than she's ever felt and Luke seems distracted, as if he's staring off at something light years away. Finn is off with the rest of the ground squad, preparing his blaster rifle, and Rey feels alone again. As soon as those doors open, it's straight into battle, and Rey can't help but feel like she's still not prepared.

She takes comfort in fiddling with the weapon in her hands as she whips her pack around to her front, taking out the pelt. She's fashioned it as a sort of cape around her so that it won't fall off, and once it's wrapped around her she feels the steadiness of it wash over her. But there's a shrill ringing in her ears which she can't shake, and she pulls at it like a loose thread at the back of her mind.

In an instant she feels her vision blacking out, the ringing turning into a giant burst of sound and light, and she closes her eyes as suddenly she's thrown back through the air and the lightsaber flies from her hand into a black gloved grip.

When she opens her eyes, the noise is gone, and she's back on the perfectly intact ship, lightsaber in hand. Her heart is racing as Luke turns toward her in concern, sensing the shift in her signature.

"I'm okay," she tells him as he asks her what's wrong, and he's quick to accept her half-hearted assurance. His mind is elsewhere, Rey knows.

_I'm okay_ , she thinks, and as they break atmosphere on the planet, Rey hopes to the stars that she's right. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> premonition: n. an early warning about a future event; a feeling of evil to come

It's dusk on Arkanis, the end of one of the rare days of sunshine on the hilly planet, and the dying light of the sun leaving shadows at Rey's feet. Boots fall quickly around her, pounding up dust as the first squadron of ground troops makes its way through the forest. They landed in a clearing far enough away from Scaparus port to avoid a major disturbance, a little more than a klick away from the old Arkanis Academy.

General Hux had rebuilt his father's academy from the ground up, scrapped Project Harvester, and created a training program for officers and 'troopers alike which helped to turn the First Order into the fierce military machine it is. Rey can't help but wonder how many of the First Order's most prized fighters were never given the chance to know their families, like Finn and herself. Little children, screaming, taken from their parents, siblings, and homes. Raised to do one thing: kill, or be killed.

A light rain starts to come down while heavy clouds roll in, and soon the pounding of their boots is replaced by an obnoxious squelching in the mud as they move onward and upward. Rey feels a chill run through her, which can't possibly just be from the cool rain falling in sheets down on her arms. No, the goosebumps are there because she can already see the ghosts, of every indoctrinated 'trooper she's ordered to slaughter, and the thought nearly makes her turn back to the ship at that very second.

But just ahead is the academy, caged in between cliffs, and there's no turning back on her duty.

She jogs up to the front lines to fall in step with Luke, who holds his hand up behind him to halt their advance.

"We need a body count. Leia said that this sector is specifically for officers so we should be up against a few hundred, possibly some extra Stormtroopers. But something feels off. Do you feel it?"

He turns to Rey as she closes her eyes, centering herself in the focusing power of the pelt, and lets her consciousness travel. She licks around the corners of the building, reaching out to brush gently against ten Force signatures, twenty, a hundred. More and more tiny voices chattering at the back of Rey's mind, and for a moment she has a hard time keeping track of them all.

Everything is normal, as he said. A gaggle of 'troopers marching in sync in a cavernously large training room, hundreds of training officers milling about, attending to their separate tasks. Normal.

"I don't feel-" But then she feels it, like a match has been lit against her and she jumps. The feeling comes in strong, like it may singe her if she loiters too close, but it only makes her more determined. She sees through flashes, looming figures ghosting through the halls like shadows, harsh masks which seems to stare through her, until one actually does. It turns, head cocked to the side as if it's witnessing some sort of amusing spectacle instead of being watched.

And suddenly Rey feels like she's being cornered, as the unrelenting gaze seems to become more intense, and Rey pulls back from that place so quickly that she feels like she has whiplash.

"They're here. The Knights of Ren," she says as her throat catches, and Luke puts his hand on her shoulder.

"That pelt makes you stronger than you think. I only saw glimpses," he tells her, staring her in a look of disbelief which almost unnerves her.

"They know we're here, Luke," she says frantically, and the calm on her Master's face only serves to make her more nervous. He can't possibly understand the urgency of the situation. "One of them saw me, looked _right_ through me, like it was nothing. They're coming for us now, I can feel it."

"Then we'll just have to find them first." There's a steely look in Luke's eye, a focus and determination which Rey has rarely seen him show. It's like he's awoken, once again the young man who took on the terrors of the Empire on his own, face to face.

He pulls his comlink out of his robes and clicks it on. "Call in the air strike," he orders, and strides over to the squadron leader to give her their orders.

Out of the corner of her eye, Rey catches a lone Stormtrooper turn the corner to the front of the building. At the sight of the ground troops he jumps back in surprise, quickly and shakily pulling his blaster up.

"Watch out!" Rey shouts as the first blaster shots streak toward them, but it's too late. The 'trooper shouts and presses a button on his comlink, and in an instant the imposing sound of an alarm is resounding throughout the facility. The ground troops spring to action and the 'trooper is blown backward by a blaster shot to the stomach.

The doors burst open and suddenly a sea of 'troopers flood out, stray blaster fire bouncing back and forth between the two armies. A ground fighter crumples to the ground beside Rey and she's immediately startled into action. She hears the roar of Resistance X-Wings overhead as the plasma blade of her lightsaber springs to life. Luke is beside her, his own green lightsaber in hand, and he swings around her in a swooping arc to swat a blaster shot away.

"There weren't supposed to be this many of them!" Rey shouts to Luke as she drives her lightsaber hard through the torso of an unsuspecting 'trooper.

"They must have known about the attack!" This much is clear to Rey as a TIE-Interceptor flies by, tailing an X-Wing that broke off from the pack. In three shots the ship is going down, spiralling through the air until it crashes into the facility. That's another man down, and another step farther away from how she had expected this mission to go.

But she's been distracted for far too long, and it's only through the pelt that she feels the advancing Knights of Ren, stalking through the halls toward the fight. With the Knights in the battle, there is very little chance that they'll be able to come out without devastating losses. She may be able to take them on with Luke at her side, but there is still one uncontrollable variable.

She feels him smash into her consciousness with all the force of a Corellian freighter, the weight of it making her stagger, crash, and fall. She knows his presence at the moment he makes contact, and she spits his name as if it is filth. _Kylo Ren_. Killer. Monster. Traitor.

It's her own magnetic rage that draws her toward him. She tugs at the string that leads to him and follows it, straying from Luke and the heat of the battle around her. She follows it into the echoing halls of the facility, lined with sterile white walls.

In an instant he's there, a giant, looming wall of a man, so close she swears she can almost feel his heart thud against his chest. But before she can launch herself into him saber first, a flash of blinding white light blocks her eyes and it feels like she's been hit by a speeder. Her lightsaber flies from her grasp as her pelt is torn from her body, and then it all turns black.

It shocks Kylo Ren, to say the least, that the Resistance could possibly be foolish enough to send their two most powerful warriors into an unwinnable fight. But seeing her here, the consciousness knocked from her body by the sheer force of the blast, she looks less like a fighter and more like the lonely girl he saw under the hardened layers of her mind. He summons her weapon to his hand as it soars from hers, and catches it with ease, looking down at the helpless girl below him. A gash is open on the side of her head and he fights the urge to help her up. To do so would be an act of weakness, and Kylo Ren is not weak. Not in front of his Knights.

Instead he turns her lightsaber over in his hands and strides past her and the burning rubble of an X-Wing. Beside her lies the pelt, hardly damaged by the blast and looking utterly out of place in the stark whiteness of the facility. He picks it up, and in a wave of recognition squints down at it through his mask. There's a strange energy surrounding it, and the longer he stares, the more curious he gets.

He quickly snaps out of his trance and stuffs it into his robes, the odd protrusion distracting from his menacing image.

"Get the girl," he orders, and walks back into the fray of battle. It is all going just as he had expected when the First Order had been tipped off about the attack. The Resistance no longer has the upper hand in the fight, and their retreat has begun.

Then he sees him. Luke Skywalker, fabled warrior, war hero, leader, and failed uncle. He's hesitant to do anything but deflect blaster shots, a testament to his weakness. His so-called restraint isn't helping him to win this battle. His self control, pride of the Jedi way, is the key to his failure. The thought is almost laughable to Kylo.

Those Resistance fighters who remain scurry back to the transport like trapped animals. Behind him, Rey begins to stir and is dropped to the ground in a heap as the transport lifts off of the ground.

Disoriented, Rey stumbles toward the ascending ship as the Knights watch her struggle. "Luke! Finn! Don't leave me, _please_! Don't leave me." She shouts until her voice is hoarse and her throat is as scratched up as her scabby knees. She calls out for them, but their names are dust as they crumble from her lips. They are gone, and Rey knows they won’t dare come back.

But Rey denies herself tears and pity, dragging herself up and spitting at the ground at her feet.

"My lightsaber," she demands, holding out her palm expectantly. It is a hopeful gesture, one she knows is much too naive to yield any results, but she tries anyway. "So this will be a fair fight."

"There will be no fight. You will come with us peacefully, or you will die." There is no other option, and mercy is rare in the First Order. Rey pulls herself up so she's standing straight, looking him directly in the eyes, despite the mask. It unsettles Kylo that she can stare through him like that, but he does not let it show.

"If I follow you, it will be on my own terms." She huffs, her unwavering stare still trained on him. She's bold in this moment, testing her boundaries, but she knows there will be a limit.

"I admire your spirit, Scavenger. But you have no control over your situation right now. I would suggest you watch what you say; my patience is in short supply."

Rey's thoughts are racing in her mind, weighing the risks. If she goes, there's no telling what they'll do to her or what secrets she may reveal. The fate of the Resistance rests in her hands once again, and she can't imagine betraying her friends. She can't imagine the look on Finn's face if she manages to escape, knowing that she's given the First Order all that it needs to crush the Resistance under its boot. She can't disappoint them. Dying would be so much easier.

But alive, she could be of some help as well. She could gather intel from the inside, do her best to destroy any progress, anything. She would survive despite everything, as she did all of those years alone on Jakku, fighting to keep herself alive. Back then, the thought of her family kept her running. Now, she has a greater reason. She steels herself, and with a tip of her chin, she comes to a decision.

"I'll go, but you must let me train with you. I still need a teacher." Kylo looks her over, young and raging as he once was, and he sees in her an opportunity, someone to be molded and shaped.

"Alright," he says to her, and she walks ahead of him, shoulders back and head held high as the last light of the Arkanis sky fades to black.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> capitulate: n. to surrender under agreed terms

The air of Kylo Ren's command shuttle is filtered and stale compared to the fresh crispness of Arkanis, and Rey is reminded of just how trapped she is. There is no rain in space, no warmth of the sun against her skin. Just a cold, inhospitable vacuum, and Rey feels it. 

And yet, she feels strangely calmed as two Stormtroopers slide uncomfortably into the two spots next to her. She knows it won't stay this way for long.

Kylo is less calm. He prowls the floor of the shuttle, casting constant glances in her direction, as if the moment he turns his head even the slightest bit away she'll disappear in a column of smoke. But she's still there, wearing the same infuriating expression, as if she's sizing him up.

"You can stop staring me down, thank you very much." It catches Kylo off guard, as if he never really expected her to bother speaking to him.

"You speak as if I can trust you not to run off, Scavenger." 

Her nose scrunches up at the name, her aversion to the moniker clear in her eyes. "I have a name, you know, and I'm sure you've wasted no time rooting around in my head to find it," she snarls. She's right, of course, but he can't help but feel like her name is not his to speak. But it's what she wants. It is what Rey wants, and if there's anything that Kylo Ren understands, it is the importance of a person's name.

"Alright, Rey," he says, and reaches into his robes to pull out the pelt. He feels how its energy gathers up around her like a cloak, and his curiosity about the object grows. "Why don't you tell me just what this is, and where you found it."

There's no use in lying to the man before her, who could no doubt pick through her brain without even lifting a finger. Rey holds her tongue, biting back a snappy remark.

"It's a selkie pelt. I found it when I was training with your uncle."

"He is no uncle of mine, and you would do well to stop addressing him as such. I am not known for my patience, I warn you, Rey." There's a sneer to his voice as she feels the Force around him crackle with a menacing edge. "I know there's more to this pelt than you've told me, and I'm sure the Supreme Leader will not be happy to hear that you've been withholding any information from me."

"If your so-called Supreme Leader is so knowledgeable and great, surely he can learn about the pelt without my help." 

The girl is testing her boundaries, Kylo thinks, and for a moment he almost feels regretful. She should never have come to Arkanis, for now she is trapped, stuck between the worlds of light and dark without a lifeline. He wants to tell her of Snoke's ways, of the many days he has spent meditating, no food and no water, with that ghostly whisper brushing the back of his mind like the poisoned tip of a needle. But there are Knights here, unwanted eyes and ears and minds, and Kylo knows he must watch his words.

"I warn you not to question the Supreme Leader's actions. You will be meeting him soon, and he is not prone to mercy."

"I hadn't expected him to be merciful," she says, and then she's back to silence once again, staring out to the blackness of space in search of some solace and guidance.

That will have to be good enough, Kylo tells himself. He can help her no more. He can only hope that Rey will be wise enough to hold her tongue and build a wall around her thoughts when her time comes to meet Snoke. But he glances in her direction once again and for a moment he sees a glimpse of raw panic beyond her hardened expression, and he knows that this will not be easy for either of them.

He's seen flashes of this panic before, in fever dreams and fading memories of a life that is not his own. In her eyes he finds the little girl with the broken jars scattered about her, a cold terror washing over her. But she is stronger now, with better control over her power and her mind. Snoke is powerful enough to try to manipulate her, but Kylo has seen her steely determination and her ability to resist first hand. 

She is stronger than even she knows, and that will have to be enough.

 

* * *

 

There's a bitter, sulfuric taste to the air when the command shuttle touches down on the ground. With a harsh shove, Rey stumbles onto the gravelly earth. A fog covers the rocky surface, and as she's pushed further into the denseness of it, she feels the smog twist in her lungs. They walk for what seems like aimless hours, until finally they reach a massive archway leading into a cave. 

The fog thins as they descend into the cave, and Rey feels the tightness in her throat start to loosen. Still, there is something about this place that makes the hairs stand up on her arms, so she continues along, hyper aware of every little splash of water onto stone and every echo of movement. 

The silence around her makes Rey suddenly uneasy, and she looks around to find the back of Ren's helmeted head. "Where are you taking me?"

"To the Supreme Leader." He doesn't turn toward her or look back, but Rey can sense the slight tremor of fear underlying his tone. So, even the great and terrible Kylo Ren is scared of something, or someone. Rey should be afraid, terrified in fact, but she can't even possibly imagine what type of horrible creature would lurk in these eerie caves. She can't even picture Snoke in her mind, and maybe it is better that way, to meet him bold and unafraid.

_ It is foolish to show your strength around the Supreme Leader _ . A thought, familiar, but hardly her own. Maybe it's Ren again, rooting around in her mind where he has no business being. But Kylo is still facing front, leading the way and hardly paying her any mind. She brushes the thought away.

After some time, they turn a corner into a corridor that looks newly made. The crisp white lights lining the hall are blinding in comparison to the dark cover of the cave, and Rey catches herself squinting as they finally reach the blast doors leading to Snoke's dwelling.

"Leave us," Kylo Ren orders in a low, rumbling voice. The troopers scatter, tailing the Knights into another sector of the base. Kylo turns to Rey, and removes his helmet with a hiss. Her eyes trace the ruined flesh that runs from his brow to his clenched jaw, and it jolts her to see the mark she left on him. 

He tears his head away from her gaze when it becomes too much. "Listen, and listen well. Do not speak to the Supreme Leader unless he addresses you directly, if you value your life. And keep your mind on guard." 

Rey barely has time to respond to him when the blast doors slide open to reveal a cavernous chamber, larger than the cave they came from, by far. Ahead was a pathway, lined with jagged rocks and statues of humans and other creatures, locked in what seems like a heated battle. Rey can hardly rip her gaze away from the sight until it comes to rest on a large throne.

"Kylo Ren," a voice demands, and both heads snap up to the large creature  seated above them. His skin is a stale gray, as if it hasn't seen the light of day in decades, and his face is mangled with twisted scars. He stands, and Rey feels the urge to scamper away from the creature, seven feet of gruesome glory.

"And the Scavenger?" His face churns into a smile, an action almost completely foreign to his face. It does not suit his features, and leaves Rey with a pit in her stomach.

"My name is Rey," she stammers against her better judgement, and Snoke's eyes narrow, causing a hot panic to rise up in her. Kylo steps in front of her quickly, shielding her from his wrath. Snoke relaxes back down into his seat, his eyes passing between the two Force users with interest.

"As you asked, Master, I have brought her to you. And I have found her with this pelt. It has a strong aura surrounding it, and I believe it may be useful to you."

"Very good, Kylo Ren. You have started to regain my trust. You may give the pelt to me, and then you will take the girl to train." Kylo bows his head toward Snoke, averting his gaze.

"As you wish, Master." Kylo turns on his heel, and as Rey turns to follow him, she's sure she feels Snoke's gaze burning a hole into the back of her head.

 

* * *

 

"I should have expected that you'd fight like a scrappy little scavenger." He threads his saber through his fingers like it weighs nothing, spinning it once, twice, three times. Fighting seems like just a game to Kylo Ren, a petty amusement hardly worth his time. But he knows better than to underestimate her.

Rey is not afraid to scrape, scratch, elbow, and kick her way through a fight, and years fending off unwelcome strangers on Jakku has trained her to watch the corners of her eyes at all time. She had chosen a staff to fight with this time around, and her split lips curl into a familiar smile. Her pike served her well for many years, so much so that it felt like another arm or leg to Rey, an extension of herself.

Still, she missed her lightsaber, her real one. It seemed to fit her like it was a part of her, and without it, Rey is at a loss. But here is Kylo Ren, looming over her and still managing to hold his imposing image despite the absence of his real lightsaber. She refuses to be bested by him, especially when he stands before her, bearing the scar that she dealt to him in a harsh slash to the face. She is stronger than that.

"I learned to survive the best way I could. But look at you, just an overgrown child who is slowly eating away at himself. Can you say the same?"

She's sees the flash of darkness pass over his eyes as he steps toward her, boots stomping the matted floors with a loud thump. His grip on his weapon is tight, gloved fingers clenching over and over.

"You never know when to hold your tongue, do you, Rey?" he asks, and with another twirl of the hilt of his saber he slashes hard down toward her head. She ducks, and staggers away from the blow just in time to flick her leg out toward him and sweep him off of his feet. As he staggers she ignites her saber staff and cuts down toward his shoulder.

Ren is alert, and rolls away faster than Rey can anticipate. She barely has time to dart away from his next strike, as the heat of his saber singes the hairs raised on her arms. She needs a way to break his attack, but where is he weak? His ribs? No, those are well covered, his wrapped arms tucked in to defend himself from serious injury. When he swings up his saber he leaves his stomach open for a split second, if she could just-

There's a locking sensation in her elbows and knees, and her head feels about ready to burst as she struggles desperately to free herself from his hold in the Force. He reaches his hand out toward her calmly and the staff wrestles itself from her grip and lands right at Kylo Ren's feet. She suck in a breath as she takes a heavy step toward it and presses his weight down onto the weapon. She closes her eyes, unwilling to watch him crush it under his boots as he quietly steps away, kicking the pike back to her.

The feeling rushes back into her body as she feels him drop his hold on her, and she scrambles toward her weapon, pushing herself back onto her feet. But Kylo has already turned his back on her, reaching for his cowl from the corner of the room. It soars into his grasp, and he pulls it over his head without once turning to look at Rey. The helmet comes next, and at a closer glance Rey can tell that it is not the same one that was left on Starkiller. No, this one is newer, fewer dents in the side and not nearly as many scratches etched into its cold surface.

The helmet slides on with a mechanical hiss and Rey finds herself frantic to say something as he turns to walk away from her, waving over the Stormtroopers who are waiting for her outside the door. He seems to hear her panic and he halts abruptly as the doors slide open. 

He turns back toward her, staring her down through the scrutinizing glare of his mask. 

"Lesson number one. Stay alert. Rely not only on your eyes and ears, but on the Force. You think far too loudly for your own good, and you're not using the Force to your advantage as you should be."

"You said we would be sparring, not working with the Force," she reminds him, but somehow she knows this doesn't matter.

"Not every fight is fair, and you won't always know what to expect. Be prepared for everything," he says, and with a flick of his head toward the 'troopers, they jog to Rey's side, blasters at the ready. "Return your weapon to the rack. You will meet me back here in exactly one hour to meditate, and then you'll be fed. That will be all."

He strides away with a wide gait, each step filled with purpose and power. She's sure he's completely finished with her, but Rey swears she feels something at the back of her mind, nudging at the walls of her thoughts.

She pulls at the thread that leads back to the source of the sensation, but it is only a faint little message, and ghostly whisper unheard by even the most well-trained minds. She brushes against it and it glows at her presence, as if it were made specially for her.

_She fights like a survivor_ , it says, and Rey can't help but shake her head to try to rid herself of the admiration attached to such a statement. Kylo Ren is a monster, nothing more than an abomination. He is nothing to Rey, but as she attempts to wipe her mind of the remnants of his thoughts, Rey can't help but feel like she's only scratched the surface with him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> solace: n. comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness.

Weeks crawl by at a painstaking pace and Rey's training has barely gotten anywhere. Each day ends with her being swept to the ground, too spent to move but far too stubborn to learn. She grits her teeth when he taunts her, spurring her on to fuel her anger, but she'd rather lose than stoop to his level. 

Rey frustrates Kylo to no end. She refuses to eat more than is necessary to keep her standing, and hardly any words pass between the two. She stays in her quarters, listless and detached, and he paces through his, distress lining his eyes. Meditation is what they need, he decides, and he leads her down to an empty room in a detached section of the base.

With her mind racing, clear-minded meditation is an unattainable goal for Rey. "Center yourself," Ren says to her as he stands tall, casting his shadow onto her. "Breathe in, and gather up all distractions, breathe out and let them fall away."

But there is something about his presence that puts her off, and calm is elusive. She shakes her head, wiping her hands onto her tunic, and pushes herself off the ground.

Ren does not speak. His eyes roll over her, taking in the way her hands clench when she looks at him, and the way her jaw tightens when she recognizes his stare. She holds so much grit under the surface that she is in no shape to meditate, a waste of time and energy. Instead, he gestures her forward with the wave of a hand and Stormtroopers fall into step behind her.

"Where are you taking me?" No response, but soon the aroma of fresh herbs fills her nose. Blast doors slide open to a small room, hardly large enough for Rey, Ren, and the 'troopers.

Squeezing past them, Rey's eyes fall onto a black tray, smooth as stone, stacked high with some of the most beautiful food Rey had ever seen in her life. Sufar greens, so vibrant and fragrant that Rey nearly forgets they are trapped underground. And dru'un slices, baked to a golden brown tinge and slathered in a savory fish sauce. She's hardly eaten for weeks on end, and despite her determination to cooperate as little as possible, the sight is too sweet to ignore. It takes all of Rey's restraint not to immediately ravage it all.

"This a rather grand reception for a prisoner," Rey says as she slides into a seat. She feels strange sitting there while Ren remained standing, and he begrudgingly takes a seat on the opposite end of the table, as far from Rey as possible. The agitation in his eyes is not hidden.

"Do you wish to eat or not? Because I could have all of this packed up and you could go sit in your cell hungry, if that's what you want."

Rey's eyes widen, shovelling a spoonful of greens into her mouth hastily. "I'm eating. But if you think you're going to coax me into joining you with a little bit of food, you are far more foolish than I thought. 

"Eat."

"Fine." With every bite, Rey stuffs more and more into her mouth, as if the food will all disappear the moment she stops moving. The napkin beside her remains unused, despite the grime gathering on her fingers. In no time, she has given up on the fork and knife, using her hands instead to soak the dru'un slices in as much sauce as she can manage. It is as if she'd never actually touched a utensil in her entire life.

"You eat like a savage," Ren say as he sits, merely watching, food untouched and a mixture of amusement and disgust painted onto his features. He's mocking her and Rey knows it, but that doesn't stop her from continuing on just the same.

Rey scoffs with indignation. "Well, I didn't exactly grow up with a golden platter of jogan fruit falling into my lap, so excuse me if my manners don't match your standards."

Ren stays silent for a while, and Rey is content at having shut him up. She ignores him and finishes the last of her food, doing her best not to lick the plate as she would have unashamedly done on Jakku. When she lifts her head, Ren's brow is furrowed, staring on at her with his face scrunched in what looks like pity.

The very thought of a being as sorry as he pitying her makes something twist in her gut. As if in some pathetic way, deep down, they are the same. Rey shakes the thought away and glares at him, determined to get him to avert his gaze, as if that would change anything.

"Why are you-" He interrupts her abruptly, as if he needed her voice as an invitation to speak.

"What it was like on Jakku?" His question throws her off, and for a moment, Rey doesn't know what to say. It couldn't, shouldn't matter to him what her life was like before they met. All that matters now is that they are two opposing forces, on opposite sides of the war. Still, hardly anyone had ever asked her before.

"As if you'd care. I was left there, and I scavenged to stay alive, just barely. I wasn't lucky enough to have parents or siblings or friends to turn to, unlike you."

A violent flare passes his eyes and Rey feels herself flinch away involuntarily. "You think you know so much about me, do you, Rey? You think you're the only one who was ever left behind, who was left to fight for yourself? You know nothing about me."

"I know about your mother, and your fathe-"

"Enough!" Ren snaps, whipping away from her with such force that Rey can feel the power emanating from him in roiling waves. "Take the girl to her quarters, now." His voice is unsettlingly low and controlled, like a growl, and the 'troopers rush up to follow his orders.

They yank Rey back toward the door as Kylo storms away, but she wrestles herself from their grip just enough to shout out to him."Your parents love y-" she tries to call out, but two hands clasp around her mouth as Kylo stops dead in his tracks, hand clenched so tightly that the seams of his gloves strain to stay together.

Without warning, he whips his hand out in a violent swing. His plate flies across the table and shatters against the wall, spraying shards in all directions, and then a silence falls over the room like a sheet of ice.

 _I know, I know they do_. A foreign thought once again, and there's a trembling in the voice, so clear behind her ears that she feels exposed suddenly.

He's in her head again, but Rey doesn't want to push away. Instead, she holds fast to his vulnerability and clutches it close as Kylo Ren disappears into the labyrinth of halls, heavy footfalls fading fast. He is gone, but Rey can still sense him seething and falling apart all at once, and she follows that feeling like a thread leading to him.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" a 'trooper shouts from behind her as a hand closes around her arm.

"To find Kylo Ren. Now let me go." There's no more reason or explanation beside the inkling of the feeling that she should go to him, and she pushes any apprehension away from her thoughts.

The Stormtrooper's grip tightens as he struggles to pull her along with him. "We have direct orders from Lord Ren to return you to your quarters."

Rey straightens her back and turns slowly toward the two 'troopers with a measured lowness to her voice, looking them dead in the eye. "Your leader Snoke gave orders for Ren to train me, and that can't happen if he is nowhere to be found." She calls on the Force to flow through voice, enough to make persuasiveness drip from her words. "You will let me find Kylo Ren, or you will face the consequences of going against your leader's wishes."

As the words spill from her lips, the 'troopers stumble backward into the wall, snapping into place behind her as she strides away. They follow Rey quietly as she threads through the ghostly halls, until she comes to a stop in front of the meditation chamber. She can feel the rise and fall of his presence behind the door, which is jammed shut by an unnatural force, but Rey clicks it open with ease. The Stormtroopers fall away as the blast door slides away to reveal Ren, back turned to face them and shoulders heaving with immense effort to control breathing.

The door clicks shut and there's a silence so imposing that Rey wants to say something, _anything_ , to get it to stop. Instead, she can hardly pull away as her hand is drawn to his shoulder. They both jolt at the contact, Kylo flinching away from her but Rey is far too quick. She grabs his arm, this man who she's only ever known as a monster, and he turns toward her with heavy-lidded eyes glazed with unshed emotion.

With this touch his presence is overwhelming, and Rey feels herself being flooded with the sense of him. She feels the bitter taste of his anger and the sharp pressure of panging guilt, but most of all she feels the helplessness, a tiny little spare thread tucked away in an untouched section of his mind. It strains against its bonds toward her until finally she reaches out toward it.

She shudders at the sudden chill that washes over her as she tugs at the string, and Kylo cries out in a choked shout. She pulls away from his mind entirely in an instant to find him left reeling, eyes shot with fear but he shakes his head decidedly. He looks so broken like this, so cracked up and exposed, and suddenly Rey feels a wave of disgust for herself wash over her, for bringing him to this point.

But he looks up at her once again, all red-rimmed eyes and clenched teeth and tenseness, and he doesn't need to speak but he does. "Go ahead," he tells her, voice rough and gravelly and low, but she hears him, and that's all she needs to continue.

She pulls at the string until it breaks free, and suddenly everything is hurtling toward her in every direction.

There's a young boy curled up in a tiny bed, red ears and beaklike nose much too large for his small frame. Whispers float over like white noise from the next room over, but the boy is covering his ears, caging himself away from the voices. Sleep avoids the boy like a plague until he feels a slippery sensation at the back of his mind, and he knows that he is not alone any more.

This is a different voice than the ones from the other room, farther away and yet so clear in his mind and so measured. _They're arguing about you again_ , the voice purrs into his ear, and the boy is racked with a feeling of guilt. _They want to send you away, to your uncle, as if that fool ever even cared. He hasn't seen or talked to you in years._

Betrayal is what he feels next, but he doesn't want to believe it. His parents love him, they always have, but not enough to soothe him at times like these. Not enough for his father to miss an exciting adventure aboard his ship. Not enough for his mother to cancel a meeting with an important leader of the New Republic. There are always more important things to them, far more important than a child who cries at night. They've never loved him enough.

But the new voice with the slick words comes to him during the night and watches over him, more than his parents ever had. He helped the boy to feel wanted, to be more than the forgotten child of heroes. The voice tells him stories of importance, tells him tales of the greatness at his fingertips, gives him a new and greater name. Ben Solo was alone, weak, forgotten. Kylo Ren is remembered, strong, but somehow, Rey feels that he never stopped being alone.

She rips herself away from the memory but the scene is still fresh in her mind, raw like an open wound. Ren is still as stone, as if he's forgotten how to breathe, but Rey stands, reeling. She comes closer, almost close enough to touch but she still feels the rawness radiating from him like an open wire.

Instead, she sits down and crosses her legs, palms upturned and eyes fluttered shut, and she hums. It's a tune she used to sing to herself when she was younger, when all she had for comfort was sand and scrap metal. Jakku was harsh and bitter, and when blistering days became restless nights, Rey would hum. With each melancholic note that echoed through her makeshift home, Rey imagined a gentle hand ghosting through her hair and a palm rubbing her back. Each lonely song seemed to become a harmony in her head and she imagined an ocean, the rise and fall coming to meet her, and for a night, the walls of the fallen AT-AT didn't seem so empty.

And so she hums as Kylo Ren stares on at her, his breaths slowing to match hers as the song fills the room. Her eyes close as she centers herself, letting all but this room fall away and suddenly she's no longer trapped on a strange planet with the wrong people with cruel intentions. She's home, shielded from anything that could hurt her, but this time, Kylo Ren is with her too. And she is not afraid.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xeno: n. the smallest measurable unit of human connection, typically exchanged between passing strangers—a flirtatious glance, a sympathetic nod, a shared laugh about some odd coincidence—moments that are fleeting and random but still contain powerful emotional nutrients that can alleviate the symptoms of feeling alone.

Kylo avoids Rey at every possible moment after that night in the meditation room, refusing to meet her eyes when they train or meditate or even when they talk. She should be glad to be rid of his infuriating stare, but something about it makes her feel like there is something distinctly off, and it makes her uneasy. 

Rey is even more nervous when he doesn’t show up to her quarters that morning, and she waits and she waits but there is no sign of movement outside her door and no message calling for her on the comlink they issued her. She was surprised she was even given a comlink at all, especially as such a high-profile prisoner, but something tells her that it’s just another way to track her every move. After a month, security around her is loosened slightly, and she no longer needs to be tailed by a ‘trooper at every turn of a corner. But the cameras never stop watching, and Rey knows it.

She feels the stretch of a scar across her forehead as her face scrunches in apprehension, and she takes to pacing around the room and tapping on every surface, anything to keep her hands and feet busy and her mind distracted. It’s not until the evening that she finally gives up on waiting and slides down the wall, just as she hears someone loudly punch the code in for her door. Ren rushes in, waving his hand sharply behind him to force the door shut as quickly as possible. Rey startles at his appearance, but she quickly falls back into her state of worry.

“Where were you?” she asks, but he is not focused on her, instead pacing the floor of her quarters, back and forth, back and forth. She grabs his arm and shakes him to his senses, and he stops, still avoiding her gaze. “ _ Kriffing hell _ , just look at me! What is going on?”

He snaps his eyes up to her so quickly that Rey is almost unprepared for the intensity behind it. “It’s the Supreme Leader. He wants you, both of us,  _ now. _ ” Rey feels her limbs lock, and she stays deathly still for a moment. She closes her eyes and lets the air flow slowly through her nose and out through her lips, once, twice, three times. 

“Then we have to get going then, don’t we?” There’s a calmness to her voice that even Rey doesn’t expect. She hides the layers of her fear behind a brave face and grabs her tunic as she starts toward the door.

“You don’t know what Snoke can do, he won’t hesitate to harm you in an instant if he thinks you aren’t cooperating with him.  _ I know _ .” There’s a frigid terror behind his eyes that speaks volumes of his experiences with Snoke, and it nearly sends Rey into a panic. But she shuts her eyes to the dread and breathes in deeply, fortifying the walls of defense in her mind, and breathes out, expelling some of her blind fear along with the air.

“I’ll have to make him think I’m cooperating, then. That’s the only option.” Kylo bows his head away from her, nodding slowly as she stands in the doorway, waiting for him to follow. “Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

“Kylo Ren. Bring the girl to me,” Snoke says as he leans forward on his throne with interest. Kylo steps to the side as Rey moves forward through the heavy darkness of the cavern, his face stony and emotionless. “Come closer, girl.”

He reaches out a spindly hand toward her head and latches on so hard that Rey feels as if he will crush her. She screams out as he tears through her mind, shredding at every lonely memory and sorrow and private emotion she’s felt until he comes to one part she’s locked away in a durasteel box. Tears sting her eyes as a small exhale falls from his lips, a mixture of amusement and disbelief.

“You dare hide something from me, when your life hangs in the balance? You are much braver than I thought, girl. Let us see how brave you are against the Knights of Ren.  _ Prove yourself _ .” 

Rey sees them slither through the shadows from the corners of her eyes, and she whips around toward Kylo. His face is expressionless, and he turns away from her, unwilling to meet her stare. She should have known that he wouldn’t help her, not around Snoke or his Knights. He never cared, and why should he, she thinks, as one Knight circles the ground around her, tossing her a practice saber to defend herself at the very least.

There’s a rustle of movement behind her and Rey swings up just as a Knight bears down on her. His weapon is sharp and heavy, much less refined than a lightsaber, but there is immense force behind it. She swings her saber around to cut toward his ribs, but he is quick to action, matching her movements with a flick of his weapon as he blocks her attack. He is stronger than she is, and Rey feels herself being backed into a wall. The Knight grabs the hilt of her weapon and twists her wrist until she feels the tears streaming down her face and her teeth nearly grind into dust. 

The saber snaps from her grasp but she lands a kick to his arm and knocks his weapon out of his hand. It slides across the floor and she rolls away, scrambling to grab it. She is much quicker and lighter than he is, but his weapon is heavy in her hands. Rey watches with wide eyes as the Knight lumbers toward her, practice saber in hand. A taunting laugh slips through his mask as he stalks toward her, twirling her saber and watching her like helpless prey. Her heart is in her throat as she looks around frantically for anything that could give her an advantage, but the Knights just seem to multiply around her, waiting to pounce. 

There’s a tug at the back of her mind and Rey’s first instinct is to push it away until all traces disappear. Instead, she gives in to it, and suddenly Kylo is in her head, flooding her with everything he knows about the Knight’s fighting style, his weaknesses, and his strengths. He’s got a strong swing, so he can break her defenses easily, but he is heavy and slow, and his knees are weak.  _ Remember lesson number one, Rey _ , he tells her, and in an instant she remembers that first day they sparred. She remembers the way he locked her limbs in place with nothing more than a flick of his hand, and she remembers the Force, flowing through her right alongside the adrenaline rushing through her veins.

She’s tired already from her encounter with Snoke, but she summons up the Force in bunches around her and wills it to wrap itself around his hands and arms and legs. The Knight stops dead in his tracks, struggling against the bindings she created and Rey takes the opportunity to wrestle the saber from his frozen grasp. He’s rigid in his place, but his head is still free, and he puts all his effort into bashing his helmet up against her head so hard that Rey feels the scar on her head open up again.

Rey falls back to the ground, head pounding too hard to maintain her focus and the Knight breaks free, stumbling toward her. She crawls away with both weapons in hand and stands up to meet him, legs bent and ready to react to whatever he does next. He charges at her and Rey leaps to the side, swinging his weapon down hard at the back of his knees as he passes her. The Knight collapses as Rey kicks one foot down to the center of his back with a sickening crack, and a boiling rage pulses through her. She grabs her saber and pounds down at him again and again until she’s sure he won’t try to get back up.

Behind her, a slow smile creeps onto Snoke’s face as Rey turns back toward him, chest rising and falling heavily as she looks down at what she has done. 

“Very good, Rey. That is all; now, leave me.” She turns to glance at Kylo, who continues to stare at her with an unfeeling expression. “You,  _ Kylo Ren _ , will remain here. We have much to discuss.” Kylo bows his head low toward the Supreme Leader, and does not look back as Rey makes her trek back to her quarters, a weighty silence threatening to do her in.

She knows that it’s late by the emptiness of the halls, ‘troopers long gone to sleep and most work stations abandoned for the night. Her bed is all but welcoming when she makes it back to her room, and when the lights shut off, Rey feels like she’s suffocating. She could have killed that Knight, for all she knows, and the thought makes Rey sick to her stomach.

She had to kill once on Jakku. She was nine, and she was home after a day of fruitless scavenging, her stomach clenching at the lack of food. She didn’t have much, but at least she was home, free from the hungry eyes of Unkar Plutt and the other scavengers. The sun had just disappeared behind the dunes in the distance, and a sandstorm was picking up outside as Rey pulled up her thin blanket up over her head in search of some solace. A rustling sound came from outside and Rey froze, not even daring to breathe. Footsteps got closer, and Rey grabbed her pike as she heard the clanking sound of a metal bowl falling to the floor. She scrambled out of sight as quietly as she could manage when she saw a shadow-like figure round the corner with what looked like a weapon in hand. Hands shaking violently, Rey leapt out of her hiding spot and swung her pike directly at the figure’s head until it crashed to the ground. She struck at it until she was sure that her own was the only heartbeat to be heard in that fallen AT-AT, and then she sobbed. She cried until tears no longer came and her mouth is dry as the desert outside, and she didn’t even look at the body until the sun crests the dunes once again.

Her red-rimmed eyes widened with shock when she finally saw it, a boy no older than her, round face wrapped to protect his eyes from the sandstorm. There was blood on the back of his head wrap and Rey gagged, but there was no food to throw up and no more tears to shed. Instead she rummaged through her home until she found it, a dried yellow flower, one of her only prized possessions, and placed it in his sandy hair as best she could. She dragged the body out to the Sinking Fields the next day, and watched as the desert swallowed up the last of her innocence, leaving behind only guilt and regret.

She has killed before, but Rey tries desperately to remind herself that this time was different, that the Knight deserved every blow she dealt. She still feels the Knight’s Force signature lingering weakly, still there but barely holding on, and she feels somehow relieved.

She spends the next hour staring blankly at the wall with her body tucked into a ball the way she did when she was younger, shielding herself from any harm to come. It isn’t until sleep finally starts to fall over her that Kylo stumbles through her door, color drained completely from his face and limping as he clutches at his stomach.

Rey staggers toward him as he crumbles to the floor, pulling his hands away to reveal the blood crusted onto them.

“What happened?” she asks hysterically as he coughs up blood, his eyes struggling to stay open.

“Snoke, he- he found-” A shaky breath. “He found out about your pelt. He knows it’s a Force artifact, Rey. He asked me what I knew about it, said- said you must have told me.”

His gravelly voice is beginning to break, and Rey struggles to tear his layers away to treat his wound. A deep red gash runs across his abdomen, ripped open where stitches used to be, and Rey scans the room for bacta, or anything, to try to patch him up.

“He said he knows that--” Kylo stops to shake his head, turning away from her touch and wincing as she tries to clean his wound.

“He knows what,  _ for kriff’s sake, Kylo? _ ”

“That I have compassion for you!” Rey’s hands freeze where they are, trembling. “And that’s against the rules, Rey; it makes me weak. He felt me help you during that fight, he saw it in my mind, he  _ knows _ . And he made me pay for it.”

“You…” her voice trails away, as she stares him directly in the eyes, and she feels it. “You have compassion for me?”

“I do.” Rey shakes her head so hard that she nearly hits it against the wall but Kylo grabs her firmly by the shoulders. “I do, and I can’t help it.”

“You can’t, you’re supposed to hate me, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t!” she cries out until her voice fades into sobs that rack through her entire body. There is only supposed to be light and dark, but here is Kylo Ren, trapped in between, and  _ he  _ has compassion for  _ her _ . He’s supposed to despise her with every fiber of his being, and she him, but Rey knows that nothing is ever that easy, or that direct. 

_ I have compassion for you too, I can’t help it _ , she thinks and pushes the thought at him. They don’t speak aloud as she presses a bacta patch to his stomach and wraps it tightly to stop the blood flow oozing out.

She pushes herself up from her kneeling position and pulls his arms around her shoulders, helping him to her bed to sit down. She sighs as she assesses the damage, knowing her quick patch up won’t be enough to heal his wound. “You’ll have to go to the medbay.”

“The Supreme Leader will know if I do. And besides, someone needs to take care of you too.” He reaches up to brush his gloved fingers against the gash split open on her forehead, but she catches his hand.

“I’m fine,” she says, standing up and pacing the room worriedly. “It’s your wound we need to worry about.” He looks up at her, eyes pleading with her desperately.

“ _ Please _ . I want to help you. Let me help you.” She exhales her resistance and resigns herself to his healing hands. She prepares herself for the stinging sensation of her wound being cleaned, but he just peels away his gloves and rests a bare hand against her head, closing his eyes.

His brow is knit in concentration and for a moment Rey wonders what he is doing, but then her she feels it, a warmth seeping from his hands and enveloping her being, melding together the broken skin piece by piece until it seems like new. She’s breathless and confused, but her wound is healed and Kylo collapses onto the bed, fully drained.

She’d heard of Force healing before; a myth from her childhood, passed around from person to person, the story growing more fantastic the older it got. It was one of the first lessons she wanted to learn from Luke, but it was a difficult task that took incredible strength.

“Master Luke once told me that only a Jedi can heal without consequence.” 

Kylo pushes himself onto his elbows, taken aback. “I am no Jedi,” he warns her, the offense laced through his voice.

“You’re right. But there is light in you, I know it.” She grabs his wrist and presses her lips gently to his palm, his eyes fluttering shut as the warmth of her breathing spreads throughout his skin. “Thank you.”

“I don’t care about the light, or the Jedi, or the Resistance, or any of it. I just care about you,” he says, and before she can even react his palm is gone, replaced by his lips on hers. She jumps a bit at first, the air knocked out of her lungs and she can’t catch her breath. At first, it stings her split lips, but there is so much warmth and feeling behind the kiss that it doesn’t matter to Rey. All she cares about is how his lips linger even when he has to pull away to take a breath, and how the bond between them flares when his thumb brushes soothingly against her cheek. His nose bumps gently against hers and she feels all the blood flush to her face as her eyes open. His eyes are sad but when they pass hers she sees a little flash of hope, along with a feeling that she can’t place just yet. A fleeting connection, and a look behind his eyes that seems to be telling her that maybe,  _ just maybe _ , they don’t have to feel alone anymore. 

She pulls away, the small smile that graced her face earlier falling away as the realization of their situation washes over her. 

“What are we going to do?” she asks, and his expression speaks volumes. His head drops to his knees as he shakes his head with a slow sigh.

“I don’t know, Rey.”  _ I don’t know. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trust: n. firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

The muscles in her legs and arms are engaged as Rey launches herself toward Kylo during training. She’s nimble, light on her feet, flitting about him until she finds the opportunity to strike. They’ve sparred with each other far too many times for Kylo to be surprised by any of her attacks, but she has gotten better and better at blocking his connection to her mind in battle. He throws his weight into his attack and she is swift to parry, as they flow in this destructive harmony of theirs, an imperfect balance teetering on the edge.

Snoke observes Rey very closely for the next few weeks, summoning her regularly to report on her progress. Still, she refused to reveal any information that may hurt the Resistance, and still Snoke continued to rip through her mind piece by piece. Some days, her screams echo through the halls and other days the agony is not her own. Snoke is brutal to Kylo, so much so that he leaves every meeting with the Supreme Leader staggering so badly that he collapses outside as soon as the chamber doors close. 

But Rey helps him to his quarters and patches him up like clockwork, bacta and bandages at the ready. It is a destructive cycle, and Rey knows they desperately need a plan before one of them ends up dead. But until then, all she can do is train and wait.

He is at her door before she can wipe the sleep from her eyes, and when he presses the code in there’s a visible change in his demeanor. His limp is barely visible as he rushes in and shuts her door, pulling her up quickly from her bed as she grasps her sheets to cover herself.

“You need to follow me,” he tells her, and Rey suppresses a groan as he goes to lean against the wall, waiting.

“Wait outside for me, I’m coming.” He shuffles out the door as she pulls on her tunic and leggings on quickly, hopping along while struggling to get her boots onto her feet. The moment she steps outside the door, Kylo’s eyes flash quickly around before grabbing her hand and walking with long strides.

He leads her to a section of the base that she’s never seen before. The stark white walls are replaced with smooth black stone, and Rey finds herself dragging her hands against it as she passes. 

“This is it,” he tells her as they round a corner, and Rey can hardly breathe at the sight. The room is massive, lined from wall to wall with shelves, piled high with holopads glowing blue in the darkness of the room. She looks up at Kylo, who nods at her to go explore.

“This was a Sith temple, long ago. This planet is called Malachor. They kept their archives here.” Rey stops, recoiling from a holopad that she was reaching for. “The Sith collected all sorts of information, about the dark side and the light, as did the Jedi. You don’t have to worry, go look around. We could find something useful.”

“We’ll never find anything here; this place is huge,” she huffs as she looks around, sizing up the place. It would take them days to explore every corner of the chamber, and much longer to read through every file on record.

“Let the Force guide you, Rey.” Kylo closes his eyes and Rey mimics his actions, letting the Force sift through the shelves and weave between each aisle, one by one. Sure enough, she finds one tendril in the Force reaching out toward her, and she follows it. It’s high up, much higher than she expected, in fact, but she can climb it. She hooks her foot onto one of the shelves and pushes herself up. She’s nimble and careful, scaling the shelves with such grace and ease that Kylo feels like he’s seeing her scavenger side in action. Climbing is natural to her, as natural as breathing, and she is in her element.

She’s nearly at the top when she finds what she’s looking for, a small crystalline cube with strange blue markings etched into each face. It hums against her fingertip, as if it’s just begging her to open it. If she could just lean over just a little tiny bit, she could reach it and-

Kylo shouts as he watches Rey lose her footing, tipping the cube to the floor as she plummets. He is quick to act, throwing his hand out and summoning the Force to the ground below her, willing the air between her and the floor to slow her fall. He runs to grab her right before she’s about to hit the ground, and he hears a loud crack on the ground beside him. 

“What did you think you were doing? You were going to get yourself killed!” He shouts at her as she scrambles away from him. She crosses her arms, and nods toward the cube on the ground.

“I was  _ trying _ to get that.” Kylo turns to his side to see the cube, glowing more brightly than anything else in the room.

“A Jedi holocron,” he says in awe, reaching down to turn it over in his hands. There’s no activation switch, but Kylo can feel the holocron being pulled toward Rey. “You have to open it, not me.”

She takes the holocron into the palm of her hand, and it warms to her touch. Her eyes flutter shut as she draws a breath, and she exhales all the power that she can gather with the Force, sending it slipping into the cracks of the holocron. The holocron floats away from her palm and further into the air, and suddenly the room is filled with swirling text and diagrams and maps.

Two words stand out more boldly than anything else, and Rey reads them out. “ _ Force artifacts _ . Kylo, this could be it!” Rey cries out excitedly but Kylo is busy staring up at something else.

“Rey, come here,” he says, pointing up at an entry and expanding it. “ _ The selkie maidens were a race of creatures born of the sea, with an innate Force sensitivity. Their pelts gave them the ability to change form and to communicate fully without speaking, creating strong Force bonds between the selkies.” _

Rey scrunches her nose, reading closer. “ _ Although selkies prefer to stay in their natural form, they can remove their pelts and pass for humans, which is what many selkies had to do to become members of the Jedi Order. Any Force-sensitive who wears a selkie pelt can enhance their power in the Force, activate a Force bond from a long distance away, meld their powers with other Force-sensitives, or cloak their Force signature.” _

“This is exactly what we need,” Kylo whispers, almost as if he can’t believe their luck. “We need to get your cloak back, and your lightsaber. And then we need to get out of this place.”

Rey shoves the holocron into the pocket of her tunic and turns to him. Her comlink beeps and she looks down at it. It is Snoke, summoning her once again for interrogation. She jolts and looks around in a blind panic. “Snoke’s calling for me. What do we do? He’s going to find out, I can’t hide this from him.”

Kylo’s eyes dart around the room as plans race through his head. “You can, you’re strong enough. He keeps your pelt and lightsaber in the heart of the base, but it’s heavily guarded.”

“Can you get them?” 

“I can try, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t have company when I come to find you. And we’ll have to steal a ship.” Rey considers their plan as quickly as her mind can process it.  _ We can do this _ , she tells herself, but she feels Kylo’s fear flooding her senses. She touches his face, tracing her hand along the scar that she once dealt him, and sends all the calmness she can manage his way.

_ We can do this _ , Kylo repeats back to her, and there’s nothing left to say.

 

* * *

 

Rey can hardly walk fast enough toward Snoke’s chamber, her legs shaking beneath her with each step. She steels herself when she reaches the entrance, and puts her entire being into controlling her thoughts. 

“Are you willing to cooperate this time, girl?” Snoke’s voice pierces her like venom. He rises from his seat, dragging her forward with the Force. He rakes through her mind carelessly, not even bothering to search for anything in particular, only wishing to cause her pain. He twists and pulls at her mind until her screams choke up in her throat, and Rey falls to her knees.

“Y-yes,” she managed to gasp out, and a cruel smile spreads across his face.

“Good. I’ve been watching you, Rey. You could be strong, you could bend planets to your will, but instead you have wasted my time, squandering your potential. You think the light side is what you need, but it will only make you weak, girl. I want you to prove to me what you are worth, and I will return what is yours.” In his hands lie the pelt and the cloak, and Rey’s heart beats hard against her ribs. Their plan will not work, and they will both suffer.

“You will kill Kylo Ren, or both of you will know the consequences of crossing me.” Her heart stops as Kylo is kicked forward, legs giving out as Rey glances at his bloodied face. Behind him stand the Knights of Ren, weapons at the ready and masks gazing hungrily at the opportunity to witness a kill.

“I have no weapon, you fool,” she spits at him, and Kylo cries out as rage flashes across Snoke’s eyes and his hand whips out toward the mangled heap of a man. Kylo writhes on the ground, unable to move or to do anything but scream in agony.

“Do it, Rey!” Kylo shouts as another fresh wave of pain courses through him, like a thousand daggers tearing through him, and Rey can’t stand to watch him anymore as a pool of deep red blood stains the floor.

She lets the emotion fall from her face and replaces it with a sick grin at the sight of Kylo’s pain, and for a moment Rey think she sees a flash of fear behind his eyes.  _ Trust me, please _ , she sends at him with all the strength she can, and then turns toward Snoke. “My saber, so I can know what it feels like to kill him with the lightsaber he wants so desperately.”

“Very good,” Snoke says, as his bony fingers release the saber into her hand. She activates it immediately, twirling it between her shaking fingers. With Snoke distracted by torturing Kylo, Rey whips around and calls the pelt toward her, and it streaks through the air into her hands. Snoke shout of outrage echoes through the chamber but Rey pays it no attention. Instead, she feels the pelt’s power meld with hers and she gathers it all into the very core of her being, until she can no longer contain it all. She lets it burst in Snoke’s direction, blasting his throne apart beneath him as Rey dives toward Kylo. She swipes her hand and the Knights are knocked back in an instant. Saber in hand, she grabs Kylo around the waist and heaves him with all her strength toward the door. With the pelt, she can feel him pushing all of his power toward her as she drags him through the halls. She tries her best to use their combined strength to her advantage, wiping their presence in the Force away until they are nothing more than two blotted dots. 

_ We need a ship, _ she tells him frantically as they wind through the halls toward the docking bay, the sounds of footsteps echoing closer as they inch along.

_ I managed to get the tracker off of my shuttle before they captured me _ , he answers as they finally reach the docking bay. An alarm starts to sound and Kylo points Rey toward the ship as blaster shots start to streak toward them. Rey shouts as one of the shots grazes Kylo’s side, and she pushes him toward the ship so he can climb in. She ignites her saber and slices down at the cable that anchors the ship and dives inside just in time avoid a blaster shot headed straight for her chest.

“My belt has a tracker too,” Kylo croaks as he tries desperately to peel it off of himself, but his arms are too weak. Rey rips the tracker out, crushing it under her feet as she turns to man the controls. 

“We’re leaving now!” She jerks the throttle up and forward as the shuttle’s wings unfold and it lifts off of the ground, zipping away from the atmosphere. Rey’s eyes flick rapidly around the control panel until she finds the switch that controls the hyperdrive, and the the ship lurches backward with a sharp jerk.

“We’re safe.” There’s only a moment of relief before Rey remembers that Kylo is bleeding out beside her, and she whips her tunic off of her shoulders, wrapping it around his wound. He’s fading fast, and Rey’s mind is flicking back and forth between cloaking the ship’s location and focusing on Kylo’s injuries. She calls on the cloak and clears her mind, imagining the push and pull of an ocean wave as she breathes deeply. “I’m taking us to the Resistance.”

Kylo’s eyes widen suddenly with panic. “I can’t go there, Rey, they’ll kill me. I deserve it, for all I’ve done to them.”

“I won’t let them. I won’t stand for it. Neither will your mother.” An ache appears in his eyes as he looks away from Rey.

“I can’t see her, Rey. I’ll only see my father, I can’t do it.” He clutches her hand like it’s his only lifeline, and for a second he’s a child again, too afraid to face his mother after all he’s done wrong.

“It’s our only option. Do you trust me?” she asks, and the look in his eyes says it all.  _ With my life _ , he says, and with that, he collapses.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> homecoming: n. a return to one's home.

D’Qar’s sun is setting when Rey pulls the ship out of hyperspace and into the planet’s atmosphere. She lands smoothly in the docking bay, and her head lulls onto the control helm as she finally rests. Her pulse is hammering through her veins while she grabs hold of Kylo. His deadweight is almost too much for her to carry, but she manages to drag him to the hatch as it releases and light floods in.

She jumps to her senses when the smoke clears and she sees twenty blasters pointed at her head. “Don’t shoot, please!” She shouts as she touches her hand to the lightsaber in her pocket. A figure step forward through the dust.

“Rey, is that really you?” Rey would recognize that voice anywhere, and in a rush of emotion she lets out a choked laugh. 

“It is, it is me, Finn,” she says, and that’s all it takes for him to rush up toward her and pull her into a bone crushing hug. 

“You’re alive! We couldn’t find you when the battle started to turn for the worse and- and they said we had to turn back. I didn’t want to leave you, but we had no choice, Rey.” He holds her at arm’s length, inspecting the cuts littered all over her body and the healed gash across her forehead. "What happened to you? You steal a First Order shuttle and end up here all beat up." 

"I'm okay, I just- we need help."

Finn's confusion is evident as he looks around for the other person she refers to. "We?" Rey steps aside to reveal Kylo, unconscious and leaning up against the hatch of the shuttle. Finn visibly recoils from the two of them while she bends down to check his pulse. He is barely holding on.

"Please, Finn, he'll die if he doesn't get help." Her eyes are pleading with him to trust her, to keep from pushing her away.

"He would deserve it. Since when do you care about him more than us?" His hurt is evident in the shakiness of his hands as he spits his words.

"I don't, you're my family, Finn. But all of you left me behind, and I was forced to find a way to survive. But he helped me. He helped me escape, at the risk of his own life, so don't you dare tell me that he deserved to die. Because I owe him my life." 

Finn meets Rey's eyes, flicking between her and Kylo quickly, until his eyes come to rest on the wound on his side. Finn jerks his head toward Kylo with a sigh. "Take him to the medbay. Come with me, Rey."

She lets out a sigh of relief as he grabs her by the arm, the tenseness in his shoulders relaxing just a a bit. "Thank you, Finn, for understanding."

He stops and turns back toward her, grim expression softening as she offers a small smile. "I trust you, Rey. I may not trust him, but I know you have your reasons. Now, we need to get to General Organa, and fast."

 

* * *

 

"Oh, Rey, thank the stars you're alright." Leia's eyes light up when Finn bursts through the door, Rey in tow. She stills at Rey's solemn expression.

"He's here, General Organa. He's hurt, but he's home." Leia's knees buckle underneath her as she collapses into sobs. Rey stands beside her, holding her as she drops slowly to the ground.

"If Han were here, he would tell me to stop wasting time and go talk to him," she says. Leia laughs breathlessly, and it's like the relief washes twenty years from her face. 

"We can go together," Rey assures her with a warm smile, and the two make their way to the medbay.

The walk is short but tense, as though all of the nerves are flooding back to her.

"What do I even say to him?" Leia shakes her head vigorously, trying to convince herself to turn back. "I was never prepared to be a mother, I wasn't good enough for him. I failed him, he won't want me."

"He needs you more than you know," Rey tells her, and Leia puts on a brave face as they are led to Kylo's room. The force of his presence overwhelms Leia, and she resists the urge to fling herself at her son.

His eyes flutter open and the first person he sees is Rey beaming down at him. He reaches up to grasp her hand and pulls her down into a kiss, rushed and frantic, like he'll never get to feel her again. "You did it, Rey. You got us out of there."

" _ We  _ did it, together. We made it." He smiles softly, pain still tracing his features but he winces through it. His face drops as his gaze moves behind Rey and falls on his mother, so much older and more tired than Kylo remembers. But she looks at him with such sorrow in her eyes that he can't bear to look away.

"Ben," she calls, and it's like a plea, or a prayer, or a question. And he doesn't have to speak to let her see all of the regret he wears so shamefully on his face, but he does it anyway.

"I'm so sorry, for everything," he says, and without warning Leia's hugging him tightly as their tears run freely, dripping onto the medbay sheets. "You shouldn't forgive me, I've done so much wrong, and Dad-" He chokes on his words, unable to go any further.

"I know, he would forgive you, I know he would, he would. We were never enough for you, I know that now, and there hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't wished-"

There's a crashing sound as a bacta bag clatters to the ground, stand and all, and in rushes Luke, the calm and composed Jedi Master, robes astray and eyes wild as he searches the room. His eyes meet Kylo's and for a while Rey doesn't think they'll speak at all, but Kylo croaks out the first words.

"Hello, Uncle," he says, but Luke is still frozen to the ground, looking as if he's seen a ghost. But he never breaks Kylo's stare, the air between them almost magnetic.   
  
Rey watches as Luke fumbles for words, unformed apologies dying before they pass his lips. Instead, he lets his eyes speak for him. And that is enough.  
  
"Ben," he whispers, and soon Leia is clutching at his sleeve and pulling at him as if she can't bear to see her family apart for another instant.  
  
"Luke, come on, _please_ ," she pleads, and then he breaks. Leia Organa does not beg.  
  
He takes a reluctant step forward and Kylo sits up a little more, wincing as a sharp pain shoots through him. Leia shifts away, pressing her hand to his back gently as he struggles to stand. Kylo is on his feet, but his legs are weak beneath him as he shakily extends his hand-- an offering.   
  
"Uncle, I'm--" Kylo goes rigid as his hand is brushed aside and suddenly he need not stand on his own any longer, because Luke is hugging him with such force that even Rey winces at the sight.  
  
Rey smiles as Leia joins them. Kylo dwarfs them both, but somehow with their arms wound tightly around him, she thinks she sees flashes of Ben. Young and vulnerable, but _loved_ , so very loved. It feels almost like an intrusion to stay.  
  
She walks slowly from the room, and Kylo's eyes linger on her form as she disappears through the door.

 

* * *

 

"We need to launch an attack as soon as possible, before Snoke moves planets. Rey, you've slowed them down, but they'll be on the move soon, so we don't have much time." 

Leia paces the floor of the command center as a map of Malachor is pulled up. 

Luke speaks up from the corner of the room. "From what Rey has said, the majority of the base is underground, so we can't launch an airstrike until we take out Snoke. This might be our only shot, so we've got to do this right."

Rey is on her feet, pointing to a section of the base highlighted in red and enlarging the image. “Snoke’s chambers lie near the center of the base, about here,” she says, gesturing to a cavernous section of the underground. “We could call in an airstrike on the farthest end of the base once we touch ground, that way we can distract the ‘troopers from our mission without blocking off our way to Snoke.”

“Good idea, Rey,” Luke says with a proud grin spreading across his features, warming Rey’s cheeks with satisfaction. 

“We need to gather our ground troops as quickly as possible,” Leia says, and Finn shoots to his feet immediately.

“I’m on it, General.” He’s off and around the corner by the time Leia lowers her voice and turns to Rey with a somber expression.

“We have to leave Ben here, Rey. He’s not even strong enough to walk, let alone fight against Snoke. I don’t want to leave him, but it’s our only option here.” Rey nods, taking it in but her breath hitches. She doesn’t know if she can face Snoke without Kylo, without his silent presence beside her or his gentle reassurance at the back of her mind. It seems like too much, but Rey can’t let Leia down, or Finn, or Luke, or any of them. She is only Rey, but that will have to be good enough.

“I’ll talk to him,” she tells Leia and darts away to the medbay once again, dreading what she has to tell him with every step, but she continues on, until his face brightens at the sight of her.

“You’re back,” he says, and pulls her into a tight embrace, keeping her there until Rey can’t stand not telling him any longer.

“They’re going to attack Snoke’s base today, and they need me to come with them.” The abruptness of the statement makes Kylo tense around her, arms tightening against her skin. 

“We’ll go together, then. I can help you,” he assures her, far too eagerly, and he jumps up to push himself off the bed. But his arm is far too weak to support his weight and there’s a tearing sensation in his side, as though he’s tearing his muscles apart with every sharp movement.

“You can’t, Kylo, you’re not strong enough right now. Snoke will be angry and he’ll tear you apart, and I can’t bear to watch that. Not again.” Kylo sighs, sinking back down into his pillow with resignation.

“If you go, anything could happen to you, Rey. I can’t lose you.” The intensity of his stare burns through Rey, and she feels it again, that needy emotion that she can’t explain, scratching up at her and threatening to burst through her skin like a dam blown apart.

“I’ll have the pelt, and Luke will be with me the whole time.”

“We both will. If I can’t be there physically, I can do my best to help you through our bond.”

“Thank you,” she tells him, and she bends down to press a soft kiss to his forehead. He leans into her touch, needy, until she has to pull away. Finn is standing in the doorway, a conflict of emotions passing over his face as he looks on at the scene.

“It’s time to go,” he tells her, and a short look passes between the two men, one of a mutual agreement to protect, and Finn nods at Kylo firmly.

“Wait,” Kylo says, catching her hand as she turns away, and presses a kiss to the center of her hand, and Rey feels him push all of his compassion and power and emotion toward her in one great wave. “May the Force be with you, Rey.” 

He lets go of her wrist and nudges her forward with a firm glance, and she strides toward the door, renewed.

“Let’s go,” she says to Finn, and as the two walk out into the blistering heat of D’Qar, Rey wraps her pelt around her shoulders, and she sets her sights to the sky.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pyrrhic victory: n. a victory or goal achieved at too great a cost.

The permanent fog of Malachor’s atmosphere settles around the ground troops once the transport lands on the rocky wasteland. Rey leads the pack, stalking quietly toward the entrance while the troops follow close behind, weapons at the ready. Every rock looks like a Stormtrooper here, and Rey’s paranoia starts to creep up on her. But she calls on the pelt to soothe her, and somewhere, star systems away, she can feel Kylo’s steady presence at the back of her mind, humming her song.

Behind her, Luke palms his lightsaber uneasily, ready to spring into action at any moment. She hears whispered voices and the beeping of a comlink as they descend into the caves, and Rey knows that their distraction is coming soon.

 _Be patient_ , she thinks, but Rey can’t help but bounce on her toes in nervous anticipation. She reaches out her tendrils through the Force, her mind wrapping around every corner and every winding corridor until she finds Snoke. His Force signature has dulled slightly, weakened, but there’s a dangerous edge to it that makes a spike of fear rise in Rey.

Suddenly, the ground under Rey’s feet lurches forward as the bombing of the base begins, and she bursts into action, making a mad dash for Snoke’s chambers. The blaring of the alarm sounds in Rey’s ears but Rey can hear nothing but the pounding of her own heart and the steadiness of Kylo’s voice supporting her. The chamber door is locked but Luke gathers up the Force between his palms and launches it toward the door, saber ignited at his side.

Rey whips her weapon out as well, scanning the room around her for signs of Snoke. The room is eerily silent, but it drips with his venomous presence, like a dagger waiting to strike in the night. A voice brushes the back of her mind, but it is a cry of pain, of anguish. Behind her eyes flashes her mother, bones twisted with a sickening crunch as Snoke stares down at them, an empty laugh falling from his lips.

 _I broke them, Rey, for hiding your power from me. It was slow, painful_. A scream is torn from her father’s lips as Snoke throws her mother up against the wall, again and again until she’s barely breathing through all of the blood.

 _And I will break you, just the same_. She screams until her voice is hoarse as she feels Snoke’s vice-like grip on her shoulder, sending shockwaves through her body. She rolls to the floor, lightsaber falling from her grasp, the light fading fast from her eyes. She can’t hear Kylo over the sound of her own agonizing cries, but she fights to hold on to the little life she has left. She reaches her hand out toward a green light blurred in her vision, as it comes closer and closer and-

The pain stops abruptly as Snoke’s hand falls to the floor and Luke runs to her side, throwing her from his reach.

“Run, Rey!” he tells her as Snoke regains his strength, coming toward Luke faster than she could have ever imagined. A dark energy hangs low on the room as Snoke lets out a low growl, and stretches his remaining hand out toward Luke. He locks a hand onto Luke’s skull, and suddenly it’s Luke’s screams that echo through the chamber. Luke’s eyes lock onto Rey’s as his eyes start to close, and he looks at her so meaningfully that she feels like she’s missed something.

 _You can do this, Rey. May the Force be with you_ , he says, so faintly she can barely hear it, but in an instant she feels all of the energy in the room gather toward Luke, and it a burst of light and sounds she feels his Force signature explode into a supernova of pure energy. It’s all Rey needs to find the strength to grab her lightsaber and center herself once again, and she feels Kylo throw all of his strength toward her as Luke’s presence is blotted from the galaxy. She takes her pelt and breathes in the power that it emanates and in one flying leap, she launches herself toward Snoke in one blue streak of light.

She’s sobbing when she drives her saber through his chest again and again, until there’s no more feeling in her arms or legs or anywhere. Her chest heaves as all sounds fall away, and for now it is just Rey, no more Snoke or Luke or even Kylo, but just Rey, alone, but alive and breathing.

She comes to her senses as the ground troops rush the room, bloodied and limping, but some still standing. They try to drag her away from the scene but Rey can’t tear herself away from the sight of Luke’s empty cloak, left in a pile on the bloodied floor.

 _You did it, Rey_ , Kylo breathes from halfway across the galaxy, but this doesn’t feel like a victory, not with Luke gone and the hollow feeling with which she’s left behind.

Finn rushes to her side and stands her up, helping her to limp back to the transport as Rey grabs Luke’s robes and clutches them tightly in her hands.

And as the transport lifts away from the smoking remains of Malachor, Rey feels like maybe in war, there’s no real victory after all.

 

* * *

 

Leia takes weeks to come to terms with the news, and she hardly emerges from her quarters until the funeral. She refuses to eat more than necessary, and skips most meetings while she sorts through the crippling grief of losing her brother, her twin, who was right there beside her when she was born.

Kylo provides her some solace with his quiet presence, but there’s a gap in her that he knows he can never fill, although he doesn’t want to stop trying. She’s tired, worn out from a life of continually losing and giving but never receiving, and there’s a hardness to her expression that can’t be rubbed away from her eyes.

They burn Luke’s cloak one month after the battle, once Leia is feeling well enough to leave her bed, and Rey is willing to even look at the cloak without feeling guilt wrack through her. They play Rey’s childhood song as the last ashes float through the air, the melancholic melody drifting over the treetops of D’Qar and out to the galaxy. It’s a goodbye song, for Luke, but for Leia and Kylo and Rey as well.

War has eaten away at Leia enough for her to recognize that she needs to stop before she destroys herself, but it’s still hard for her to let go of the reins. She’s so used to bearing the burden of the galaxy that it’s hard to find a new purpose, a new reason to press on.

Rey is aimless as she watches Kylo get better each day, turning her holocron in her hands over and over as she considers it. She wants no part of war, not after all that it’s taken from her, and from Kylo, and from Leia. She’s seen it tear people apart, and she wants no part of that. But she can’t sit still, not long enough to be content in one place, anyway.

She spent her childhood on Jakku, wasting her days away with silly tally marks etched into rusty walls, waiting for someone to return who would never come back. But she sees Kylo, and in his eyes she sees a new beginning, a chance to start from scratch with him, and she wants to go somewhere. Anywhere but another base on another war torn planet.

So when she tells him she wants to travel the galaxy, to find all the Force artifacts the galaxy has to offer and the greenest planets and the highest mountains and the vastest seas, Kylo encourages her without hesitation.

“I want to see the stars up close, without having to worry about life or death. I want to touch each and every one of them.” She kisses each mole on Kylo’s face like they are a constellation, and he hums his approval.

“Then we’ll do that. Together.” The moon wanes on D’Qar and Rey wraps the pelt around the two of them, it’s gentle energy winding and intertwining with their presence in the Force, and for the first time in a long time, she feels complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for following along with this story! This is my first finished Reylo fic, so I'm very glad to have pulled through with it. I finished writing it quite a while ago, and now that it's edited it'll be a part of the Reylo Fanfiction Anthology, which is a collection of Reylo stories (our theme for this one was fairytales and myths). Hopefully I'll be posting another story soon, since I have two current multi-chapter projects going at the moment, so look out for that!

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr as solikerez if you'd like!


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